In the blink of an eye, no schools, no helps, no familiar schedules, no outings, no salon visits, no office space, no business trips, no restaurants, no (or same) income, no vacations…Nothing is the same anymore! Are you finding yourself struggling to succeed in general or your career while also trying to be the best mom at home? Are you desperately wanting to look for ways to overcoming mommy guilt?
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Personally, I feel that the so-called ‘Guilty Gene’ gets embedded/passed on in our DNA as soon as the baby pops out. And right from then on, it’s a roller coaster journey.
As mothers, we always try to place our family and our kid’s demands, and well-being above our own needs. I often fell into the guilt trap each time my toddler falls sick. Mothers have this incredible and amusing ability to blame themselves.
Did you know that there have been cases across the world, where women gave up on their spiraling career as they felt that they weren’t doing enough for their families?
Guilt also starts getting to us when we start comparing ourselves to other moms. Working moms feel that stay-at-home moms are the best, and vice versa. Presenting some of the tips that I follow in my day to day life to overcome – Working mom guilt.
Overcoming mommy guilt by implementing 5 strategies:
1. Start a journal or planner
Trust me, I swear by this. I used to write my weekly tasks in a diary just like that. But now, I have taken up journaling quite seriously. Try and maintain a journal where you can record your weekly tasks, appointments, or meetings. I also write down things I am grateful for and do some doodle on the journal. The journal helps me to organize my present, rectify mistakes of the past, and work for the future.
Personally, speaking, journaling has helped me a lot, as I get to spend some me-time with my diary. You can also start on a Planner-Just buy a simple diary which will help you keep a track of the daily things you do, and will make things smooth in the long run.
2. Be prepared for the next day well in advance
If you are a working mom, you know how planning well, a night before the next day makes things effortlessly easy for you. Try to plan your weekly meals way well in advance. Make sure you have ironed and decided on your clothes for the next day (I personally hate to just stand and stare at my open wardrobe, thinking of what to wear). You got to think of ways to dress up even if we are only attending work calls from home.
This COVID-19 pandemic may have changed the way we are functioning, but it should not give you much grief. Try and change the way you feel by preparing for the next day!
You need to be sorted on your front, so that the kid is not left to take care of himself, and you end up being in guilt.
3. Kick that guilt down the drain
Identify things that make you want to go back to work with each new morning. I don’t feel guilty of not being mentally there while your little one is attending his/her own Zoom classes without your help. Instead, see this as an opportunity to give your child the ability to act independently.
Zohra Sharma, a single mom who has been juggling (ever since the virus outbreak has renounced what once was normal) says, “Try and develop an upfront attitude towards your daily activities of overcoming mom guilt. Try cutting out negative energy and people who make you feel guilty.”
In other words, there will always be a section of society that will make you feel guilty for whatsoever you are doing. So just ignore them!
4. There will be mistakes/challenges (accept them)
The first step in overcoming mom guilt is the acceptance of the fact that we are humans in the end, and mistakes are bound to happen. Each day will not be the same – So there will be days of joys as well as sorrows and always remember that- ‘Every cloud has a silver lining.’
5. Spend time with your kids as and when you have time
There need not be a fixed schedule for spending time with your kids. Of course, putting them to bed at the correct time is important, but you can always look for alternatives to have some sweet moments together. I generally read-aloud stories to my toddler at bedtime. Before getting started the next morning, I wake her up, encourage her to get ready for her own online classes. The morning is the start of a new day/chapter of our lives. This is ‘our moment,’ you must too find your own ‘our time-slots’ and schedule your life accordingly. Look forward to such points. They might not come back.
6. Take a personal day or time off
Take a day off from your daily routine once a week or at least fortnightly. Spend some time at the spa or better still, enjoy a long and a warm bath and try to de-stress and overcome that mommy guilt. This will help you to rejuvenate for the coming week and help in developing a better frame of mind.