Dear son, it’s your birthday today!

by Vaishali Sudan Sharma updated on May 5, 2015

As a part of the #MyMotherMyHero campaign, a mother shares certain expectations from her dear son. Take a look at some important lessons of life shared by her as she celebrates his first birthday today! Join her in wishing Brat H heaps of luck and good wishes!

Dear Harshal,

Last year, on this day I received the best news of my life. I became a mother. I became one the day I bore you in my womb, but your actual arrival got me fretting out. Why? Because now I wasn’t just a woman, I was a mother!

And days passed by..weeks, months.. It wasn’t an easy journey. I swear it wasn’t. There were days full of post-partum depression, sleepless nights, food I could barely eat because you would wake up after every 20 minutes for the feed, changing diapers, cleaning your poops, pukes and getting you to burp, putting you to sleep. My entire day would just about go into all of that. There were days I wouldn’t find time to comb my hair. Yes! It’s true and this isn’t just my story.

So, dear son, as you turn one today, it just occurred to me that time flies and in no time, you shall be 18. A few years from now, you will be debating with me over a pair of shoe or fighting for a particular ice-cream flavor. That’s fine with me! I look forward to it all. But, I would want you to get certain things right. So take your time. Read this letter when you are ready for an argument.. As it is I love to argue.. 

It is not the most beautiful present that mothers can give- an advice (actually a set of them) but as you will grow old, you will learn a lot more about me. You will realize that your mother who loves to argue has no hidden agenda behind advising you. She just wants the best for you. 

Son, please make note of these:

1. Chuck male chauvinism: Just because you are a man doesn’t give you the license to beat another man or a woman. Don’t you ever hurt your partner physically or emotionally? You aren’t supposed to. I have given birth to a human, not an animal (and definitely not a male chauvinist pig)!

2. Be gentle: Be kind, soft and stay in touch with your emotional side. My father is one such man who has been gentle to his wife and gentler to his children. Full of calm and patience. Your father isn’t quite there yet but then he is only 30 and one day, he too shall become a calm man. You will have to work hard to achieve these traits. And the day you have got them right shall be the day you would have won the battle of life!

3. You can’t be mine: I had you inside me for 10 long months, I gave birth to you and taught you how to walk, talk and swallow, but that doesn’t mean that I own you. That also doesn’t mean that you will be expected to take my crap, or go out of the way to fight for me. I doubt if you are ever going to be anybody’s. You shall only be your’s. It’s best if you learn it sooner than you should.

4. Fall in love with a woman who is outspoken: It’s not bad to be tactful, but it’s definitely not good to be not outspoken. People around you at least know where you stand and that’s what I expect from your partner. The issues with being outspoken are rudeness, believing that you are always right and becoming overly defensive. But, that’s fine. It is better to say it out loud than to play around with the minds of others. So, fall in love with an honest person. Honesty pays, but tact is for those who are insecure. I don’t want a self-doubting person for my son.

So, dear son, as you turn one today, it just occurred to me that time flies and in no time, you shall be 18. That’s when I hope to give you this letter. Read it with an open mind. There will be plenty of time to debate and argue.. perhaps over a glass of wine..

Happy Birthday.. my love.