I Am Lonely And Ready To Accept My Mortality At 36! Life In The Time of COVID-19 Lockdown

This morning I woke up to a realization, as familiar as it may appear now, to accept your mortality at 36 years old or till about last year I thought I was still not-so-old. It’s just one of those things I’ve often ignored. The days tick by and you just feel that there’s plenty of time…Until the unexpected happens. You are made to retrospect that this could probably be your last day. That’s what COVID-19 lockdown had got us down to- our murkier ends!

Life In The Time of COVID-19 Lockdown

I have had dreams and imagined myself growing old, wrinkled and probably surrounded by my child’s kids. I know it’s wishful. Some of you might think it’s frivolous!  I have always dreamt of a life where we are surrounded by our loved ones. Until the unexpected happens. You are made to think that this could probably be your last day! This could be that one day when you will succumb to loneliness because social distancing is the new ‘socially acceptable’ thing to do!

Read about COVID-19

That’s the thing about life; It is fragile, and I wish there was a mandatory warning which sort of popped up each passing year- as a birthday message from God, saying- ‘handle with care’. Life is unpredictable and each day is a gift.

It makes sense now!

I have a lot of time on me now or maybe not. Atleast, I’m not running around chasing deadlines. The period is leaner than I thought. Days are long and so is my train of thoughts. It’s the middle of the night when these random things pop in my head most!

I’m not sure when will we actually find a way to combat coronavirus COVID-19 lockdown

I’m not sure if this virus will disappear only to appear 10 years or 20 years later with a deadlier version leading to mass extinction X 5! I don’t know if we will ever step out fearless and trust each other. Not sure if we will ever shake hands or hug the ones we have loved and met after a long long time. I’m not sure if I at 36 will step out and meet my girlies and have a drink while we rest our arms comfortably on the bar tables and if one of us coughs or sneezes, we never have to look at each with suspicion. I am not sure if our children will be packed-off to school without disinfectants and hand sanitizers unfailingly placed in their school bag pockets…those pockets which once were empty or filled with the excitement of colorful goodies.

A man and a woman in COVID-19 lockdown

Not sure if a year from now we will hear people complain about how terrible work is or about how hard it is to exercise.

What I am hoping though is to see and hear something mind-blowingly different in my very 36th year of life… natural music of chirping birds…no one rushing to get to any point…people cuddling their pets…and talking to their parents and friends (they’re in no rush to end the call)…undertaking travels that are rejuvenating- the ones which take them straight to their hearts and minds…living not to work but working just enough to keep themselves contained…eating all the fresh produce and enjoying that meal- un-in-ter-rupted!

There’s a lot of gratitude and motivation to keep life afloat, how blown-out-of-proportion or affected it may appear through our naked eyes.

We might just put down our phones, and open our hearts, eyes, and ears to welcome the change.  

I want to make you think that this could probably be your last day! Have the guts to change…whatever folds and unfolds…

Disclaimer: All views expressed on this blog are of the writer and does not represent the opinions of any entity.

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One thought on “I Am Lonely And Ready To Accept My Mortality At 36! Life In The Time of COVID-19 Lockdown”

  1. I really feel like coronavirus has left all of us, even the healthy, feeling pretty vulnerable. I’m holding my son pretty tightly these days, giving him lots of hugs – I feel like that’s what I’m meant to do right now. It’s a crazy time.