No matter how one person tries to work out their marriage, without including the other partner, it will never work. For a marriage to work, each partner must accept the other characters’ weaknesses and strengths to have a sustainable union. When there are lots of differences, one may feel that it’s time to call it quits. Have you been thinking- how to know when it’s time to consider divorce?
However, emotions may speak otherwise and will convince the party to hold on a little longer in an attempt to salvage the family. This becomes a hard task to know when it is time to divorce. Troubled couples keep on questioning themselves, ”how do you know when it is time to divorce?”
As much as a marriage is considered sacred, partners should not hold on for the wrong reasons. Some signs are red flags that helping oneself is knowing when to divorce.
How to know when it’s time to consider divorce. These are the signs:
1. When the conversation is about “I’ and “Me” and not “We”
Marriage survives with ease because of teamwork. When one party becomes self-centered, and all the concentration is on individual achievements, then this means that there is no common goal for that family and there is no destiny that the future can be looked into.
2. When one’s needs are no longer being met
For a union to thrive, each party must play its role effectively; this includes spiritual, emotional and sexual needs. If this continues to decrease, and efforts to add energy back in are no longer working, then this is a sign to prove that time to divorce is ripe.
3. Unsuccessful counseling sessions
Whenever there have been differences, couples often attend counseling sessions in an attempt to salvage their marriage. However, even the sessions become an expensive venture without working out, no matter the many times you have tried. When this can no longer work, no change of behavior is experienced, then one may consider moving out with a single life and start life anew.
4. Stopping to argue
Ideally, couples agree to agree on an issue based on arguments and facts placed on the table. When there is no more arguing and silence takes the order of the day, then each of the parties does their work as per their mindset. Arguments do not have to fight necessarily, but they help in strengthening the marriage, fighting for the other partner and making critical decisions regarding the future. However, if the arguments cease, then it’s proof that the partners are no longer interested in each other and would opt to stay alone in such a case.
5. Being abused
When love fades away, then hatred sets in, and abuse becomes a weapon to defend oneself. For instance, a drunkard husband can opt to keep beating the wife as long as he comes home drunk. This could be a deliberate action to prove that he is no longer interested in the relationship. To prevent further damage, this is one way to prove that the marriage is between the rocks and it’s time to call it off.
6. When you realize you are staying together because of the kids
If there is a character that couples should never teach their children, it’s teaching them about the wrong things experienced in a marriage. Most often, people hold on because of the children, and as they grow, they too read the signs that all is not well. They get emotionally affected such that it may be hard for them to sustain their marriages if they learn the wrong things. Rather than allowing them to learn such traits, it’s better off to divorce and have a healthy single life that would not expose children to negative experiences, according to Scarymommy.
7. Concentrating on social media more than on family affairs
According to a survey, conducted by OnlineDivorce in Michigan, social media plays a significant role in bringing a marriage to an end. It builds a haven of rest in one’s mind as he tries to fight what is going around at home. For instance, Facebook communications and feeds. They engage one’s mind and also induce one to share marriage life and bad experiences. Getting feedback that ignites the fire to an already troubled mind acts as a catalyst for divorce. That feeling of sharing is a sign that marriage is no longer in existence.
8. Sexless life
When couples disengage in their relationships, the emotions they had for each other fades away, and when the disengagement takes a tall order, the partners often have no pleasure for one another. This is a clear sign that none of them has an interest in the other, and chances of divorce are more likely to take place.
9. Taking sides and starting a single life slowly
Sometimes, it may seem that one partner has reached a dead end in their marriage despite the counseling sessions they have had. They prepare themselves for a single life without declaring that they are divorced. It’s easy to find that they opt to access finds for another house without the knowledge of the partner and as soon as he is ready and the house is well set for occupation, he breaks the news, but this is something that was prepared a while ago. Other changes while pretending to live a single life are changing their social media pages to single and searching to speak out to the world that they are alone.
10. Provoking your spouse for a fight
Testing the other partner to measure the level of anger is another sign to know that time for divorce is ripe. The continuous provocation hurts the other party out lightly, and he may subconsciously issue a statement that you may never like. This ends up in divorce when such moves are made the day after another.
11. Lack of forgiveness
A well-renowned therapist, Luke, puts it that even if infidelity sets in a marriage, it is not necessarily a roadblock and couples can forgive one another, and move on with their relationship and allow for the healthy growth of the same. Forgiveness in marriage should remain a core value because now and then, you will experience hurting issues that if the unmanaged, marriage cannot survive. Therefore, if the couples realize that the word forgiveness does not exist in their lives, then this is a clear sign that the marriage cannot last.
12. Expecting to win at all times
Marriages are made strong from disagreements and arguments. Mistakes also become a good teacher. In cases where none of the partners will step down for the sake of the marriage, they leave hearts aching without a solution. Continuous battles that demand to win from both sides is another clear way to prove that the marriage will soon end.
13. Lack of affection
Couples on the verge of divorce disengage themselves from the other party, and the word love becomes a thing of the past. The level of friendship is no longer experienced, intimacy goes down, and besides, one can openly declare that they are no longer in love.
Once there is no close relationship, then it’s time to gather one’s mind and get to know that you are headed for divorce.
14. Becoming unfaithful
Whenever people have no affection for one another, they tend to look for affection somewhere else, and they will surely get that comfort. When this becomes the norm, the guilty conscience to the party practicing infidelity will speak volumes to them and find a reason for walking out of their marriage. It’s crucial then to be watchful and ensure that one remains faithful to their partners if you have intentions for a long life relationship.
Final thoughts: All these signs occur in marriages that are breaking. When a couple realizes that they are going through such challenges, look for ways to save the marriage by talking out to the other partner. If this does not work, consider engaging a counselor to help you overcome the issue.
If there is no amicable solution found, then it’s high time to walk out of an unhappy marriage before things become worse.