Couples fighting is as regular and natural as sunrise and sunset. Some even see it as a step towards proactively working to mend the relationship through communication. But what happens when these fights get eclipsed by the same theme? Finance or money talks are often one such area where several couples struggle to agree and be on the same page. Research suggests that finance is rated as one of the leading causes of stress in a relationship. The gravity of these finance-based arguments also depends on the seriousness of the relationship. Naturally, for married couples, it can be a cause of concern when such fights do not lead to a solution.
The strain of the stress can seep through the relationship necessitating the presence of a marriage counselor to save the day and make the marriage work.
Why financial marriage counselor?
Some couples dealing with financial problems may seek help. They opt for a marriage counselor or couples therapy. But a more advanced option lies in opting for financial therapy for couples. Most people seek out a finance counselor or marriage counselor. But, finance therapy designed for couples amalgamates the two professionals into one. A financial therapist for couples is one who is equipped to help a couple handle emotional issues. They also chart a concrete finance plan to help them wade through the crisis. Financial therapists for couples focus on helping partners deal with emotional distress arising out of financial issues. But for deeper couples issues, they might suggest emotional couples therapy or individual therapy.
Some of the common reasons to reach out to a couple’s finance counselor can be as follows:
Difficulty in tackling bills:
When bills reach our mailbox or email, we all have different ways of reacting to them. Some like to pay it off right away, while others postpone it. Some may also never be able to meet the bills. Others end up paying late fees for it due to ignorance or financial problems. In a relationship, this pattern continuing for multiple bill cycles can cause distress.
Overspending habit of one or both partners:
Financial marriage counselors suggest that the best way to divide your salary is to demarcate them between essentials, savings, and entertainment. Thus you can meet your and your partner’s needs and desires. Doing so helps budget spendings based on your earning. But often, in a relationship, one or both partners might be a compulsive buyer or a shopaholic forgetting to prioritize their needs over desires. A financial marriage counselor in such a situation can help you chalk out a payment plan that controls such behavior.
Non-alignment of goals:
When we enter a marriage, we bring in our hopes and dreams like owning a house or a better lifestyle. Some of these goals may be jointly held and will likewise require you to save and invest to be able to meet those goals. However, if your financial goals are not aligned with your partner, it can result in clashes and financial problems.
Control through money:
An often ignored financial problem in a relationship is when one partner uses the money to control the other. It’s like tightening the purse strings at will, cut off from accounts, reducing monthly allocations, and others. When a single partner has complete control over the household expenses without considering inputs from the others, it can lead to deep financial problems arising from deeper psychological issues. Solicitations from a financial marriage counselor in this respect can help create a balance in the area.
Figuring out when to get marriage counseling is just as important as where to get it. While you can depend on your current therapist to recommend an expert, you can also ask your trusted circle of friends, colleagues, and family to help you find one. While financial marriage counselors are relatively new, they can also be reached out online to help guide you through your financial problems.
You can also reach out to BetterHelp, an online platform dedicated to making professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient.
Smart couples, aware of the deep bonding they share with their partners know that financial problems should not be allowed to become a focal point of the relationship. Thus, seeking a stable and productive outlet to resolve it can make the relationship stronger and help it to progress. So do not shy from opening your hearts to one another and to an expert when faced with financial distress.