Counselling For Couples: Hitting The Help Button Before The Fire

Relationships keep changing in life. If you have been together for a long, you may have learned this lesson. As couples grow over time, they tend to change and evolve. This change can often hamper the dynamics of the relations leading to conflict. In such a situation, counselling for couples can be very useful under the guidance of a certified therapist. Reaching out for help through marriage counseling can make relationships stronger.

Counselling for couples - Happy couple walking the dog

The importance of counselling for couples :

A research by the American Association of Marriage and Family found that more than 97% of sampled couples found relationship counselling helpful. Over 93% of them said the therapy helped them learn techniques to resolve conflicts healthily. Learning useful coping mechanisms is one of the strongest reasons to opt for relationship counselling or emotionally focused couples therapy. Depending on the issues being dealt, it can be long drawn or short-term. Some of these partner-based psychological counselling sessions can be focused on issues of intimacy, adultery, and other family issues. During counselling for couples, the couple will also gain insights on their relationship and process it better for the future. Couples counselling is an umbrella term that also has marriage counselling under it. 

How to find the best therapist?

Can you recall how a fight in the park was resolved in your childhood? You had to shake hands and say sorry and may even hug. A parent usually conducted this white flag moment. In a relationship too, counselling for couples works like this. It needs both the partners to be present and willing to address their issues together and shake hands on it. If you are a couple in trouble then look for these signs before you begin therapy. A good therapist also plays a crucial role. It could be family counselling or marriage counselling. When searching for the best therapist to help heal your marriage or relationship through psychological counselling, look for these traits:

Counselling for couples

1. Share objectives

Counselling for couples is mostly talking but the session should have an objective. A therapist should be able to layout focused objectives to address your issues. He or she should also explain their map of treatment for the relationship counselling. 

2. Comfort

During relationship counselling, couples will pour out their hearts and share what bothers them. It can be difficult to hear your own shortfalls but your relationship counselling session should not be a rerun of your arguments at home. Your therapist should be able to comfort and insulate you from upsetting exchanges. This can be the ugly side of emotionally focused couples counselling. He or she should guide the session with care. 

3. Ask and not preach

A good therapist will set you on the path of discovery. Through psychological counselling, he or she will direct you to search for the right solutions and not spell them out for you. This will also require them to ask multiple questions to dig deeply and wholly. So if you come across counselling for couples therapists who do not preach, you have hit the jackpot. 

4. Teach problem-solving

A certified therapist skills you in problem-solving during counselling for couples. Not every problem you face in your relationship will be the same. Hence, having problem-solving skills can help you cope better. This will help you understand and be intuitive in the face of a crisis. This approach also ensures that your emotionally focused couples therapy has a long-term effect. 

5. Balance the good and bad

Every relation has its ups and downs. At relationship counselling, you should be able to share both. A skilled therapist will be able to show the best to create a base of optimism. He or she should not solely depict the bad to make the state worse.

Counselling for couples takes place in different modes. Based on the severity of the case the therapist will choose a plan to work through the sessions. While most marriage counselling or relationship counselling happens with both the partners present, sometimes it can also be held individually. One partner may approach alone or the therapist may request to see each of you separately with some sessions designed to be held together. So walk the plank to a better and supportive relationship by opting relationship counselling. 

Author: Vaishali Sudan Sharma

Mom blogger, books lover, fan of new wave cinema, fond of jazz, lounge and classical music. Love to cook Indian & Italian cuisine.

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