I have read all sorts of pregnancy and birth stories. Some have been beautiful, while others were a bit too disturbing. Mothers have a way with words. Those intricate details describing the blustery hours of labor or the beautiful moments post-delivery. All the emotions are explicable. I have been so tempted to share my own version, but I fall short of words. What should I write? It has all been said before.
Should I start by describing how my husband and I were pretty excited to share the news of us having a baby with the family? Or should I tell you how my pregnancy days were coated with nausea, stress and constant worry? I would risk throwing up and that fear of risk didn’t leave me once in those 9 months. Chances are that you would have probably read or heard of a similar story from a friend or your own mother.
But, yes! There is one thing that I would often ask myself- “I am having a baby, so why should I hide it?”.. While I do understand that there are to-be-mothers who respect the veil of secrecy around the first trimester. I too belong to this category, however, a few mothers I know go a bit too far! They tend to hide every little thing.. They obviously only realize how difficult it would be to live it- much later, and by then- it’s too late. But, hang on, this is my story! And I must tell you exactly how my pregnancy went.
Before I got pregnant, I would laugh at people who made pregnancy announcements way too early and especially through Facebook. I thought they were mental to be making such a ‘top secret news’ public. God forbid! What if something goes wrong..But as soon as I hit that stage, I began to think otherwise. I guess I did the right thing.
Because, even if something goes wrong, it’s okay to be out there in real. You need friends and relatives. You need several shoulders to lean or cry on. After all, you’re not going to want to lie about how you’re feeling to everyone in your life.
I’m having a baby:
I am an all-out person. We announced it pretty early, just so we could have ‘our family’ around to help us. I mean after all- “I am having a baby, so why should I hide it?”.. We kept them all informed about the progress we were making on a monthly and later- weekly basis. We shopped in advance and the world saw what we bought or how we were planning to dress our yet-to-be-born-baby. Yes! Why not- “I am having a baby, so why should I not share the joy with you?” But it is also because I am by nature an over-sharer . I can’t keep anything to myself for long.
I never wanted to be that to-be-mother who respected the veil of secrecy SO MUCH that she not only hid her pregnancy till the bun-in-the-oven was OBVIOUS but who seemed to be the loneliest in that phase of her life. That to-be-mother who spent most of her time alone in her apartment, feeling awful.
I didn’t feel too good or ate that well in the first trimester. My morning would start on a ‘smelly’ note and all I really wanted was to sleep —early pregnancy can drive one crazy- Is this the part I was not supposed to tell you?
I was anxious and worried about my yet-to-be-born baby’s health- Is this the part I was not supposed to tell you?
I spent most of the day crying on the couch and felt sad because of all the pregnancy hormones- Is this the part I was not supposed to tell you?
Mother of all truths – The pregnant belly:
While a part of me questions myself and the to-be-moms out there about how stiff should your upper lip be when it comes to sharing the early pregnancy news with your people out there, the other half of me wants to just go all out. Why you may ask? Cause it’s the mother of all truths.
So, to that to-be-mother who is due sometime soon and has been hiding the news all along. Don’t, please don’t hide your pregnancy or anything related to it behind a wall of silence. If you were never too secretive about things such as- “I am trying to have a baby, but can’t” or “Am I able to have a baby?” Then why hide anything as beautiful as having a baby, NOW?
And, to the mother-who-is-yet-to-be-one or that mother who just had a miscarriage, do remember, not all pregnancies make it to term, the loss can be absolutely devastating.
But, don’t live in the fear of not letting it out- whether it’s the news of a miscarriage or your next pregnancy. You don’t have to hide it behind a wall of silence. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. This is life, a genuine mom’s life!
Please share your pregnancy or baby birth story with me. I would love to give yours’s a gentle read too!
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5 thoughts on “I’m Pregnant! So Why Should I Hide It?”
When I found out I have threatened abortion last week, and was on the verge of losing my baby, it struck me that this must be the reason that people keep it under the covers until the pregnancy is safe and mature. But, like you said, I still dont think its something to hide.
Your blog is beautiful by the way
Thanks so much! Indeed, nothing to hide. God is there to keep a watch on us.
When I was pregnant I was strictly instructed by my parents to keep the news as a big secret. Even the extended family members were informed much later. I was desperate to share the joy with people and hence I informed my closest friends but didn’t inform my parents about it. I did check with my mom once as to why is it kept under wraps till a period. The justification I got was that the foetus is too tender and hence anything can happen to it if not taken care of! So should something unfortunate happen, why give chance to people to come and enquire and make stories!!
Hi Archana- I buy your point. But with a friend something similar happened and because she had no one (literally NO ONE) who could be with here during the unfortunate time got her getting into depression. So, I guess to each his own!