Quarantine Time – Best Time To Make Your Marriage Work

Quarantined, locked inside the home during COVID-19 lockdown, days are just passing by. The time it seems has stopped. And why not, these are no ordinary times. Even happy families and couples in love are finding it difficult to tide over this time, holed up inside their homes. So what about the ones with marriage problems? These trying times can be a boon in disguise and marriage problems can be worked out with some solutions right under one’s nose? Do you want to make your marriage work? If the answer is yes, read on…

A relationship doesn’t work on its’ own. A bad husband-wife relationship needs a lot of effort to convert it into a non-toxic one. The woe of modern life is such that couples usually don’t have the time to work on their relationships. Problems are shoved under the carpet till they become too large to be handled and couples start drifting apart. Even small things that could have been ignored become major irritants. So while the lockdown lasts, and since there’s no escape on days when you may be going through mood swings, to live and deal together is the only option. Isn’t this time quite ideal to work on your marriage? Heal the old wounds, find solutions, figure out ways to make your marriage better, stronger and last forever?

How to make the most of this quarantine time to make your marriage work?

1. Focus on each other now, since your world has turned inwards

Now, no more excuses for lack of time. You are living with each without any break, whatsoever. Enough time at hand now to sort your marriage problems. So focus on each other more. Understand the needs of your partner when you have the time. There are no rushed schedules to be taken care of, no late evenings or weekend work meets, so the time to make your marriage stronger is now. Switch off your gadgets and focus on each other. Figure out why you have fallen out of love with each other. Figure out where your communication broke and fix it. 

‘One shouldn’t just give up on someone because the situations not ideal. Great relationships aren’t great because they have no problems. They’re great because both people care enough about another person to find a way to make it work.’ 

2. Appreciate each other – best marriage problem solution

This happens with most of the couples when complacency sets in few years down the married life. Everything that is done for each other is taken for granted, without any appreciation or a word of thanks. Maybe this could be one of the reasons for your drifting apart. You might have stopped appreciating each other.

A great solution to mend your broken hearts and broken marriage could be, to appreciate and compliment each other sincerely, at first consciously and gradually as you slip in the comfort level – to be and feel happy with each other. Let this be an important note to yourself as you create a marriage workbook for the future.

3. Sparks gone? Where? Rekindle now!

A healthy and strong marriage needs that spark and attraction to keep it alive. For it to last forever, ask yourself why did you get married to this person, what was in it that attracted you to him/her? Communicate what has gone missing from the initial times but without any blame game.

4. Plan a date night

If you have kids and it is difficult to focus on each other, plan a special date after you put the kids to sleep. Watch a movie together, with some late-night favorite snack thrown it. Hold hands, have frequent eye contact, as Kavyal puts it ‘Great eye contact does something very powerful to the mind and the body…do it to repair the damage in your relationship’. Those marriage problems which appeared huge will gradually start looking trivial as you grow close again.

5. Cook a favorite dish for your partner, the way you used to do earlier

Tip from Kavyal Sedani, a relationship counselor and life coach…

Make this quarantine as an excuse to find your way back into each other’s hearts. And right now, food is proving to be a great comforter, that’s the only thing actually for most of us. So make full use of it, make your marriage stronger and bond over food.

6. Ask questions about each other you have never asked before

Tip from Kavyal Sedani, a relationship counselor and life coach…

Once you break the ice, start conversations you have wanted to have, questions you have wanted to ask, but have never had the chance. Our relationship counselor, Kavyal, has a list of questions you can ask each other.

Q. What is your most vivid childhood memory?

Q. What do you hope people think when they think of you?

Q. What are you most grateful for?

Q. Name three things you and I appear to have in common.

Q. What would constitute a perfect day for you?

Q. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

Q. What do you value most in friendship and companionship? 

You can add your own questions to our expert’s list. But whatever you ask each other, keep out any painful or nasty questions. Remember, you are working towards fixing your marriage problems.

Marriages are not made in Heaven. They are made here; on earth, by us. And happy couples make happy parents with happy children.

We sincerely hope for all you lovely couples out there, may this quarantine phase gives you that space to mend your broken marriages to heal your broken hearts, may you be able to resolve your marriage problems, for a happy forever married life.

by Tasneem Dhinojwala