“I want two children – a boy and a girl.” “I want three children, each about two years apart.” Many of us make these declarations as we grow up and look forward to adulthood – parenthood, in particular. Infertility after 35 is not an uncommon issue.
However, now that you’re in your mid-thirties or older, these dream-like claims can seem quite naïve.
Welcoming another child into your family has gone from a dream to a nightmare. You’ve been hit by secondary infertility and don’t know which way to turn.
Don’t lose hope.
Infertility after 35
We’ll find out below while exploring some common questions.
Why Am I Suffering from Secondary Infertility?
Despite conceiving and carrying their first child without complications, many women face difficulties conceiving their second. This is known as secondary infertility.
What causes this?
It can be caused by many factors that also cause primary infertility, however, it’s often age that plays the dominant role.
The number of eggs a woman has diminished from the moment they’re born. By the time she reaches the age of 35, she may have around 100,000 eggs left.
That sounds like a lot, right?
It does, but when you consider the fact you’re born with 1-2 million, you can see how many you’ve lost in such a short period of time (around 1,000 per month once you hit puberty). When you hit 35, this decline becomes even more rapid.
This means, from the minute you’re born, you’re racing against your own biological clock.
Why Are Donor Eggs My Best Option?
Since you can’t produce more eggs or improve the quality of the ones you have left, your options become more limited when you’re in your mid-thirties.
Traditional IVF might not improve the chances of pregnancy and it won’t eradicate the risk of miscarriage, either.
Other options include adoption and surrogacy, but these may fall short in your ambitions to carry, give birth to, and breastfeed your baby.
Egg donation overcomes these hurdles by eliminating the potential issues you may have with your own eggs. By using a donor’s eggs, you can enjoy a “normal” pregnancy – one just like you had with your firstborn.
What Can I Expect in My Search for a Donor?
When you begin your search for an egg donor, you have two options – choose someone you know or use a donor egg program.
The former often initially appeals to some women, as it gives you confidence and reassurance in your donor (many find the prospect of using a “stranger’s” eggs hard to comprehend at first). Plus, if you use a family member, there’s the added comfort your baby will share some of your genes.
However, after careful consideration, many parents choose the latter option – choosing a donor from an egg bank.
Despite donors being anonymous, you have a greater amount of options when selecting one. Egg donation banks provide you with a plethora of information about your donor. This includes their personal traits, physical appearance, academic achievements, career choices, and more.
Having this information enables you to choose someone you feel confident in and comfortable with. For example, you may opt for someone who boasts similar characteristics to yourself – or someone who possesses the qualities you’d love for your child to have.
How Will I Know if this is Right for Me and My Family?
Understandably, this isn’t a decision you’ll take lightly by any means. You’ll no doubt face some tough challenges, concerns, and plenty of thoughts along the way.
One of the biggest fears women have when using an egg donor is they’re sacrificing their own genetic link with their child. Thoughts of whether their baby will look like them, whether they’ll bond with their brother or sister, and whether they’ll want to connect with their egg donor in the future can become overwhelming.
However, with careful consideration (and perhaps even specialist therapy), it becomes easier to see the extraordinary benefits egg donation presents.
No woman, whether she’s using her own eggs or not, can guarantee their child’s genetics. The thought of carrying, nurturing, loving, and welcoming a newborn baby into the world is all they need. It gives them peace of mind that they’ll be able to establish an unwavering mother-child bond.