Do I have to be a good cook, if I am a mom? Or I can be a good mom only if I cook well? As an 80’s kid and being brought up in a metropolitan city, I often wonder about that. Even if many women leave aside the Metropolitan angle to this discussion- is it so necessary to be really good in the kitchen? As Indian women, we are all asked this burning question ‘Can you cook’? Moreover, it will not stop at once. It first comes when you are in the process of getting married. If you are not a good cook and passed the marriage test by luck, the next test comes up in the form of the same question when you have a baby! But, I want to say one thing- “Not all mothers are good cooks. But does it really matter?”
Don’t we all know that there is a wide difference between being a cook and being a mother? A cook can bake the best of cakes and churn out lip-smacking dishes, while a mother showers unconditional love and support on her children. Isn’t that enough on both of their parts as two different individuals?
Not all moms are good cooks:
Most women these days are brought and raised in particularly the same environment as their fellow male workers might have been raised. Gone are the days when parents would raise their girls only for the sake of getting them married one day. Some of us might like cooking and take it up even as a profession. But that doesn’t apply to all. So, it is pretty evident that not all women who get married and eventually have kids should have great culinary skills.
Stay-at-home-moms. Working moms. Moms in general:
A mother’s love is unconditional. A mother understands her child from its heartbeat right from the time she conceives. It is only a mother who can understand the needs and the concerns of her child- No one else! Not all mothers have to be great cooks -And it is absolutely alright. While some of them are stay-at-home moms others are working moms. While many times a working mom might be excused for not cooking, a stay-at-home mom or a work-from-home mom is often bashed for keeping help at home for cooking. But this is totally uncalled for.
Like we said not all women enjoy cooking, so spare us from the raised eyebrow look. Some of us find joy in cooking while others find joy in painting, keeping up with the baby, and other such things. Everyone has their own levels of finding joy and satisfaction. A working mom on the other hand barely manages to eat when she gets back home after work, going into the kitchen and cooking is an altogether new battle for her.
Facebook and Instagram age:
Since time immemorial, the Indian society has judged moms for not making the perfect delicious food. And even now when we are in this Facebook and Instagram age, things have hardly changed. Isn’t building a happy family that eats together and bonds well are priorities for mothers. Is it only the kitchen that will put a stamp on us as being a good mother or a bad one? As someone living in Indian society, I feel that it is high time we stop gasping in horror if a lady or a mom tells us that she can’t cook. Also getting that perfect round chapatti is too mainstream! However, those who do wish to go the extra mile can try these cooking hacks every mother should know.
So, next time you meet a mom do not ask her if she can cook. Ask her these questions which will probably make her day:
1. How are you and your kid doing?
2. Do you need any help with the baby? (If she is a new mom).
3. You are doing a great job managing all-house, kids, and work (if she is a working mom)
4. You are raising such lovely kids with the right mix of respect, values, and principles.
Really loved your article and totally agreed. In my opinion mother love for her kids can’t be measure. It is not important to be a great cook to be a great mom. Kids need more time form us so that they can play with us and discuss their thoughts instead of good mouthwatering food. Society has to understand that kids can be happy in simple food if they are with their parents.
It’s a mindset change which is required. A mother whether stay at home or working has so many responsibilities, it’s her decision how she would like to handle.
Parents do the best for their kids. And, we can’t measure their love based on some skills. I enjoyed reading this. Everyone should learn basic cooking for their own good. Great post.
Very true! I mean, not all of us grew up cooking at home or even have interest in cooking, and that’s totally fine. I myself only knew a few dishes when I got married but since I also enjoy cooking, I’d either call my mom/dad, find recipes online or watch in YouTube to recreate a recipe that I want to. With the technology nowadays easily at hand, it’s really easy to cook as long as the interest is there. Otherwise, there’s tons of food takeaways. haha…As long as you don’t get hungry, that’s always something to be grateful for!=) take it easy, life is short😉
To be a good mom you dont need to be a good cook. Secondly the concept of good or bad mom varies from person to person and perhaps from child to child…… But end of the day the baby needs your warmth and that’s the pleasure of a mom.
I think that cooking cannot be a factor that will decide if one is a good mom or bad mom. With the age when sharing of work, and gender equality, etc, are the buzz words, this is a really outdated concept.
Yes agree that our society behave in a judgmental way towards moms and expect them to be a good cook. but it is not necessary that every mom has to be a good cook. though personally, I think cooking is an important life skills and everyone should learn it irrespective of their gender to eat more healthy and homemade food.
I agree..Every mom is different and one should not judge on the basis of cooking or anything else. The main thing to focus is the care and love of a mom. 🙂
Isn’t it?
I believe cooking is a survival skill and everyone should know it without any gender bias.However, judging a mom on the basis of how well she cooks or whether she cooks or not is unacceptable. I can cook but only when the mood strikes hehehehe rest I am happy with my house help.
You said it right!
I really feel this post was written for me! 😉 I hate cooking… I like baking but cooking is a task for me and hence, I hardly do it. I am not ashamed to admit but 90% of the cooking in my house is done by a cook. Yes when we were living abroad, I would do it since I had no choice. But given a choice, I won’t and earlier I would feel a tad guilty about it. But I’m lucky to have non judgemental women around me like you! 🙂
🙂