by Udita Saklani
Do you also judge a mom by the shape of the chapattis she makes? Well, not all mothers are good cooks-and it’s not a big deal.
Do I have to be a good cook, if I am a mom? Or I can be a good mom only if I cook well? As an 80’s kid and being brought up in a Metropolitan city, I often wonder that. Even if many women leave aside the Metropolitan angle to this discussion- is it so necessary to be really good in the kitchen? As an Indian woman, we are all asked this burning question ‘Can you cook’? Moreover, it will not stop at once. It first comes when you are in the process of getting married. If you are not a good cook and passed the marriage test by luck, the next test comes up in the form of the same question when you have a baby! But does it really matter? Don’t we all know that there is a wide difference in being a cook and being a mother? A cook can bake the best of cakes and churn out lip smacking dishes, while a mother showers unconditional love and support on her children. Isn’t that enough on both of their parts as two different individuals?
Most women these days are brought and raised in particularly the same environment as their fellow male workers might have been raised. Gone are the days when parents would raise their girls only for the sake of getting them married one day. Some of us might like cooking and take it up even as a profession. But that doesn’t apply to all. So, it is pretty evident that not all women who get married and eventually have kids should have great culinary skills.
A mother’s love is unconditional. A mother understands her child from its heartbeat right from the time she conceives. It is only a mother who can understand the needs and the concerns of her child- No one else! Not all mothers have to be great cooks -And it is absolutely alright. While some of them are stay-at-home moms others are working moms. While many times a working mom might be excused for not cooking, a stay-at-home mom or a work-from-home mom is often bashed for keeping a help at home for cooking. But this is totally uncalled for. Like we said not all women enjoy cooking, so spare us from the raised eyebrow look. Some of us find joy in cooking while others find joy in painting, keeping up with the baby, and other such things. Everyone has their own levels of finding joy and satisfaction. A working mom on the other hand barely manages to eat when she gets back home after work, going into the kitchen and cooking is an altogether new battle for her.
Since time immemorial, Indian society has judged moms for not making the perfect delicious food. And even now when we are in this Facebook and Instagram age, things have hardly changed. Isn’t building a happy family that eats together and bonds well are priorities as mothers. Is it only the kitchen which will put a stamp on us as being a good mother or a bad one? As someone living in an Indian society, I feel that it is high time we stop gasping in horror if a lady or a mom tells us that she can’t cook. Also getting that perfect round chapatti is too mainstream! However, those who do wish to go the extra mile can try these cooking hacks every mother should know.
So, next time you meet a mom do not ask her if she can cook. Ask her these questions which will probably make her day:
1. How are you and your kid doing?
2. Do you need any help with the baby? (If she is a new mom).
3. You are doing a great job managing all-house, kids, and work (if she is a working mom)
4. You are raising such lovely kids with the right mix of respect, values, and principles.
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