Celebrating Fathers Even Though My Own Father Failed

There’s something special about a dad, they’re different. Not in a strange way, they’re not weirdos! Well, sometimes they can be, that’s usually when they’re doing bad things, like ‘pull my finger’ or singing their favorite song and dancing the Dad Dance. No, their differences come from the way they treat us, they show us respect and kindness while still being able to scare the life out of us with that look. They’re not afraid of showing us affection, even outside.

Dads do the DIY, hang shelves, mend broken doors and tinker with the car:

They catch all the spiders and send them packing. They fix things we break and they teach us about things we wouldn’t normally learn from somewhere else- the difference between a small car and a big car, how to change a light-bulb, how to win against the boss on a video game, the differences in screwdrivers. They’re full of information, they answer our questions, no matter how silly. Dads do the DIY, hang shelves, mend broken doors and tinker with the car. 

Well, that’s what cartoons, dad-jokes, and dad-stories would have us believe.

Sometimes Dads aren’t how they’re generally portrayed. My dad wasn’t your stand up guy. He had a lot of issues and caused trouble for our family. He was often absent and sometimes we wouldn’t see him for months. I wish I had a dad that fixed things and tinkered with cars, instead, I had a dad who broke things and stole cars. This may sound quite dark, not quite what you’d expect from a post celebrating Fathers but there is a reason I’m telling you this.

My dad set the prime example of what not to have in a partner:

He showed me that men like him aren’t truly fit to be dads. It’s the age-old saying, Any fool can make a baby but it takes a real man to raise a child. My dad was the fool. Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of memories with my dad that is amazing, he worked for a long time and he did provide but it wasn’t consistent, his problems always got in the way eventually. I love my Dad, but his lifestyle forces me to stay away. I choose to keep my distance and avoid contact with him because he still doesn’t behave as a father should, or more importantly, how a grandfather should.

So I bring you the Celebration of a Real Father.

My partner, Meiron, He’s special. I don’t mean he has more than anyone else, I don’t mean he’s rich, or famous, or anything other than who he is. To me though, that’s what makes him the most special. We met and fell in love pretty quickly, it was only four months into our relationship we found out we were having a baby. He never once doubted that. He stayed with me and we raised our baby together.

Within three weeks of finding out we were pregnant, he found himself a new job, got a car up and running and we combined forces to move out of where we were living. He stood up, loud and proud, he was excited, he was happy that he was going to be a dad and it showed in everything he did.

These days, I’m a stay-at-home-mum. Meiron works hard for us, his earnings pay all the bills, buys the food and if we have enough spare, it even buys us a special treat. He never complains, he is never selfish. He is always, relentlessly, making sure Willow and I (and all the furry babies we have too!) are looked after.

My daughter, Willow, is the apple in her daddy’s eyes, and he is her favorite person. When Meiron comes home from work, Willow always goes running to him and he will always pick her up and hug her, shower her with kisses and ask her about her day. Whether he’s been out of the house for 6 hours or 12, he never tells her not to jump on him the moment he walks through the door. He never says he’s too tired. He never tells her to wait. He pretty much walks through the door with his arms wide open to greet her, wearing a huge smile and he always mirrors her enthusiasm.

Celebrating dad’s life:

Seeing my little girl jump for joy at the sight of her dad fills me with sheer happiness, I can wait a few minutes before having my kiss when what I’m watching is so important for the both of them. That’s their time, the few minutes each day that they are solely focused on one another. In the first five or ten minutes of Meiron coming home, they only really have eyes for each other, I don’t begrudge that. They share a bond, a bond formed from those very moments. Meiron has always worked, and I have always stayed at home with Willow, they make up for the lost time when he gets in and I am always happy to see that no matter how much time has passed since Willow was born, they still share those moments everyday.

Of course, they don’t just see each other in the evenings after work but on workdays, their time is limited, Meiron leaves for work before we get up in the mornings and is only home for about 3 hours before Willow goes to bed. With that said, we always try and make time for our family if we can, we go for walks, we play games, we get crafty, we share family moments if and when we can. Meiron even sacrificed his passion, Saturday football, in order to spend more time with us on the weekends, for a person who has played football for as long as he can remember, that’s a big deal!

All of those things, and so much more, is what makes Meiron the father he is. He truly is a fantastic Dad and I am both proud of him and thankful to him for all the effort he puts into our family.

My child’s father is a real man:

Yes, there are probably a hundred more things I could tell you about Meiron but I only really need to say this, he’s the real man. He’s not a fool, he embraced our pregnancy and has relentlessly contributed to provide our family with what we need since that very moment. Meiron really is a special person to us, even more so to me because he’s everything my father wasn’t. He’s supportive, kind, welcoming, honest, reliable, caring, patient, tolerant, and playful. He’s funny and witty, he helps around the house, he cooks and cleans, and even when Willow was small, he did night feeds and changed nappies without ever complaining. He works hard for us and even though I know Willow is only 3 and doesn’t understand how truly wonderful her father is, when she reaches my age, she will be able to look back and see that her Daddy really is the best Dad she could have asked for. She will never be short of happy memory, a shoulder to cry on or someone she can rely on.

Fathers Day is a day for celebrating our fathers, I can’t celebrate my own father but I can, and will, celebrate my Daughter’s Father!

About Faye: Founder of Kaboodlemum, Faye Elizabeth is a 25 year old mother to a 3-year-old daughter – Willow. She lives with her Boyfriend- Meiron, three cats and a soppy Staffy called Lola. She mainly writes about her day to day life, things they do as a family and crafts she and Willow does together. 

Click here to read more about this amazing woman. Besides, do give her blog a visit!