A Girl’s First Love

It’s true, you know, a girl’s first love will inevitably be her father. He will be the benchmark for pretty much every male in her life.

Some aren’t lucky, they don’t get the most perfect example of a man to look up to, and yes, that may color their choices in the future, but no matter what, their father is still, very often, to them at that time, the BEST!

I’ve said it many times, and I’m not afraid to say it again, but I really have had the BEST father a girl could hope for! A beautiful, kind, generous soul, who has given his all to make the best life for his family.

Growing up, he didn’t have the influence of his own father, as my grandfather passed away when he was very young. His male influences were his elder brother and brothers-in-law, and once he was married, he had my other grandfather as a great pillar of strength behind him, until his untimely demise.

He felt a gap in his own childhood:

My dad wasn’t one to ask for anything, grateful for all the love and affection he was given, it wasn’t really until he became a father himself that he realized what he had missed and what he wanted to make sure he gave us, his own children.

If you ask Pops, he would tell you that my brother and I were the first things in his life that were really his, and he gave his all, alongside my mum, to give us the life he felt we should have, and the attention that possibly, he didn’t have.

Love has always been there in abundance:

From the cuddles, and hugs, to the affection, filled smiles, the ever-smiling eyes that just overflow with feeling. The concerned lectures and odd tellings off were even filled with love. The taxi service taking us to various extra-curricular activities on the weekends, especially my brother, with his sport!

Taking us to, and bringing us back from school and university, he did it all, and when I got married and had my own babies he would happily drive a 6 hour round trip, to pick me and baby up, to take us home for a few days, then drop us back. Not easy for a 60-year-old heart patient, but he did it because that is the person he is.

Peace within him:

I could never be upset, or mad at my Pops. If he was ever to have a go at us, it hurt him as much as it hurt us, as he hated being negative, or strict.  And, that mellowness has grown over the years to show an amazing peace within him, and spirituality, which just emanates from him.

And now I’m nearing 40, and he will be a sprightly septuagenarian next year, I still feel like his little girl, and I know that that is what I will be to him forever. I know if I feel down, I can count on Pops to say something to ‘turn my frown upside down’, and give me advice that is near enough always right!

While I was getting married:

When I was going to get married, I dreaded telling Pops about Hubby Dearest… Would anyone ever be good enough for his daughter? But he was so happy! He met his prospective son-in-law and welcomed him with open arms! Apparently my choice was good! It took us a while to set a date for the wedding, and when it finally happened, we started planning to the max, only to be requested, by my in-laws, to delay the wedding by a couple of weeks, on the advice of an astrologer who my mum-in-law consulted. I was distraught! The venue we had booked for the reception was not available on the new date, and it was just too much!

I sat with Pops and said I didn’t care, we should just leave everything as it was, after all it had taken so long to get this far. But Pops talked me round, and his biggest argument, the game-changer, “So what if you get married 2 weeks later, beta (dear), at least I’ll get you with me for another 2 weeks.” Well! It was a done deal then… It hit home that I would no longer be under his shelter, in the same way, once I got married…

Going forward, we married and became parents ourselves.

Life comes full circle:

I watch Hubby Dearest with our own little princess and see that love between them. I see the special place each holds for the other. I can see her wrapping her daddy around her little finger, and I can see him swallowing the bait whole, and her getting away with murder all the time because he couldn’t believe that ‘his little girl’ could do anything wrong. I see her idolizing her Daddy, and when he is away on business, I know the effect it has on both our kids, they miss him so much, and it fills my heart with joy, that they share such a special bond, father and children.

His previous job meant that he was there early morning, then home to say good night. This new job of his means he is at home more and I love to see their relationship go from strength to strength. As a father, he is more in tune with the needs of his children and able to take an active part in their life.

In a nutshell, he has all the qualities of my first love, my Pops. They may be there in different quantities, in a different mix, but the end result is the same, a fantastic husband, and loving father, who gives his all for his family!

So, may I take this opportunity to thank my Pops for being the most amazing father to me, and to my Hubby Dearest, for being such an amazing dad to our two monkeys too!

Happy Father’s Day to them both, and to all the fathers, and those like father’s out the rest!

Know you are loved, respected, and appreciated…and especially to, those fathers of daughters…yes, you will always be our first loves!