3 Things my husband and I shouldn’t have stopped doing after becoming parents

During my pregnancy, I was being cautious. Almost too cautious. And while trying to be careful throughout that phase, I could give very little emphasis to the bond I shared with my husband. And after I became a mother, things went from being bad to worse. As a mother’s bond with a child grows, it’s likely that her other relationships begin to deteriorate. And this is what happened to us…

Why marriages change after the baby arrives:

According to research, having children affects a marriage. The relationship between spouses suffers once kids come along. When comparing couples with and without children, researchers found that the rate of the decline in relationship satisfaction is nearly twice as steep for couples who have children than for childless couples. 

In addition, the number of members of the family changes the entire dynamics of our existing lives. So much so that the overall tempo and tone of the house seem to change completely. Parents often become more distant from each other as they get busy attending to the day-to-day details of parenting. From figuring out ways to feed the newborn, and cleaning his poops to taking care of laundry, making enough money to pay the bills, and planning for the future – everything takes up a lot of our mental space. In the effort to keep the family running smoothly, parents discuss pick and drops, and monthly expenses, instead of what’s the latest in each other’s lives.

Of all the things I regret, one that I regret the most is giving up leading a normal ‘wifey’ life. Here is a list of things my husband and I stopped doing right after becoming parents. I am sharing it with you so you don’t make the same mistakes we made.
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Major mistakes that change the new parent’s equation as husband-wife:  

1. Excluding each other from the busy timetable 

The time that was spent watching favourite movies together is now replaced with changing nappies or cleaning the milk bottles for tomorrow. This change of priority and schedule creates a gap between you and your partner. 

You can work on this together by simply involving each other more as a team in the baby’s work. Changing baby cloth will be even more fun when you do it together and will not stress only one of you out. 

2. Having too much on your plate

During the early stages of parenting, it may seem natural for the mom to take the lead. However, at some time, a discussion regarding labour division should take place. When a new baby is born, some parents feel compelled to be Supermom or Superdad. It is critical to communicate clearly and politely in this situation. Sitting down to discuss how to manage parenting chores can be quite beneficial and avert disagreements.

You need to fix your schedules according to the time you have and the capacity that will be left after your tight schedule of yours. Take each other’s help and thank them every time as niceties breed a less combative atmosphere.

3. The disturbed budget and priorities 

Having a baby can result in financial issues, putting a strain on the family budget and causing troubles in a couple’s relationship. Don’t go crazy with your purchases and end up with nothing. 

You might like to discuss the bills and the expenditure in a rough manner beforehand to prevent your savings from draining. Only spend your money when absolutely essential, and put money down for your child’s future, which is far more important.

Everything doesn’t go according to your perfect plans. Sit back and relax because no one is ever completely prepared to be a parent. Out of all, one factor that is sometimes overlooked is the marriage itself. To make sure you and your entire family are satisfied during the journey, avoid the marriage blunders that new parents do. There’s a reason people say “having children was the finest decision they ever made!”

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Author: Vaishali Sudan Sharma

Mom blogger, books lover, fan of new wave cinema, fond of jazz, lounge and classical music. Love to cook Indian & Italian cuisine.

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