1. Emphasise on your child’s interests
Many times it has been witnessed that parents do confront their adolescent on unfamiliar interests (computer games, music, friends). But either they end up criticising or simply ignoring, treating it as one more difference that is setting them apart.
Instead, parents could choose to bridge the difference by asking the adolescent if he /she could help them to love and appreciate the music they are listening. Can they can teach them how they can play the computer game?
2. Try to avoid generalisation while having discussions with your teenager
At times when parents need to address some issues and concerns with their adolescents, these discussions end up into arguments and emotional outbursts. Remember selection of the right language is the key to make these discussions fruitful and effective for the teenager.
Generally, what happens during a parent and teenager discussions is that the parent tends to use abstract terms like ‘you are irresponsible ’, ‘you are careless’, ‘you are inconsiderate’, etc. These terms come from the parent’s frustration and emotional pain and more than doing good. These terms insult the teenager and make them more defensive.
Instead, parents can state their complaint by objectively describing their cause of concern. Like, “we need to talk, how you will keep yourself safe if you want to attend the party. Every parent in the city today concerned about his/her child’s safety from drugs and criminals, and we are no exception”.
By Shivani Misri Sadhoo, a psychologist based in Delhi. She is a certified relationship counselor with specialized training and experience in the field of marital problems, relationship difficulties, child and adolescent issues, stress and anxiety.
This article was originally posted on The Humming Notes. Just as music strikes a chord with its listeners, The Humming Notes (THN) strives to make music with words and strike a chord with its readers just at the right point. A brainchild of Supriya Aggarwal, THN tries to satiate the reading needs of its visitors with diverse topics such as travel, hospitality, art, culture, literature, food and social concerns. You can connect with the team at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Hope these parenting tips for raising teenagers help you connect with you child and understand them better.