by Tasneem Dhinojwala
“My mother wasn’t mean, but she had to put up with a lot of crap. I am not her, and I believe in self-love! Here’s why I prefer being a mean mom.” Read on to know how it has benefitted this mom!
Motherhood is one of the most beautiful phases of a woman’s life. But a challenging one as well. The child comes first in everything and anything that a mother does, and this is what is expected of her. Anything different from the image of ideal motherhood if a mother does, then she is a mean and selfish mom.
But then what is wrong in being a little mean and selfish? After all, before you became a mother, you are a human being too. You can have your likes and dislikes, preferences and choices. As a new mom, our whole world turns upside down with the arrival of a new life. And yes we do it willingly and happily, without any qualms.
Apart from you retaining your identity, believe me, it does benefit the children as well. Here ways how your children will benefit from some meanness from time to time.
1. You are a mean mom, so you can say no to your kids:
To discipline your little ones early on in life, saying a firm no and sticking to it, is extremely important. If your answer is yes to everything they do and ask for, or your no is not as firm as it should be, then rest assured for more tantrums, dramas and unruly children to handle in the future. A firm no from time to time to the unjust demands that the kids make will let them know what is acceptable and what is not.
2. Making them do chores, be a little mean:
Don’t worry, you are not indulging in child labor if you are making your little ones work in the house. You are on your way to raising responsible and independent adults, and not spoilt brats. You are not a superwoman, who can manage everything on your own. Letting the kids help in the daily tasks at home, be it cleaning up their room, making their beds or polishing their shoes, you are teaching them the importance of shared work in a home and taking up responsibility and at the same time creating some breathing space for yourself.
3. Some ‘me’ time is okay, even if you look mean:
You are a flesh and blood being, and you also need to recharge your batteries. So if you have decided that particular time of the day is yours, and no one should disturb you then, including your little ones, it is perfectly alright. This will not only help them in respecting you as an individual but will also make them independent and help them in learning ways to keep themselves entertained in your absence.
4. Let that pocket money be earned:
Instead of giving them pocket money just like that every month, let them earn it. For younger kids it can be small tasks like helping you clean up after a meal, picking their stuff and cleaning their room, etc. For older kids, you can hand over more responsible jobs. By doing so, the mean mommy in you is making the kids understand the value of money and they will grow up with the lesson that there is never a free lunch.
5. You are not their servant or a friend, you are a parent:
One often hears parents saying that we are friends with our kids. That’s fine, but you need to let your children know just because you are friendly parents, you are not just friends. They need to maintain the line of respect. The children also need to be taught they cannot order their parents around for any and everything they want.
Even when young, children are smart enough to understand when they can take advantage and when they should withdraw. So a little bit of meanness from you is good for them.
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