Am I a Bad Mum?


by Usri Sen

‘Am I a bad mum?’, asked a friend, teary-eyed, one day. And I told her, ‘You know you’re a good mom and you continue to strive each day to be better…’ Was she really a bad mum? Read on to know…

Why does the baby cry so much…Is she hungry? Are you up-to-date with your child’s vaccination schedule? Do you give appropriate colic medication for your child? Why are you scolding her, she is just a child? Why are you force feeding her, let her eat what she wants to? What kind of a mom are you…Introducing your child to TV and mobile at this age? You are back to work already…Your child is barely 6 months!!!Am I A Bad Mum 01

How many of us have faced this serpentine line of ever ending questions and encroaching suggestions? We all have and we all continue to at every stage of our child’s growth, isn’t it? Now sit back and introspect.

Does your child have food to eat?

A shelter and clothes to wear?

If the answer to all 2 is YES!!! then, just sit back and enjoy that glass of wine.

According to MASLOW’s hierarchy of needs, right at the bottom is the physiological/basic need of food, shelter, clothing which is all a child till 9 years needs. So next time that nosy neighbor, a family member, a relative or anyone on Planet Earth decides to dive into your private space, explain her/him MASLOW’s theory.

Am I A Bad Mum 02

Women and mothers have always been subjected to suffocating scrutiny, judgmental gazes, kitty party gossips and sometimes harsh treatment. How long must we succumb to these unfair deals? Why isn’t a father asked the very same questions that we are choked with? Hear it out and hear it out LOUD and CLEAR. A father is equally responsible for his child’s well-being as a mother is. It’s a Joint Account and not Personal Savings. So what are some of the steps that we could take to combat unfair treatment?

1. Parents should sit together and decide on a broad perspective on how they would like to bring up their child/children. Which should be the negotiable and which ones are the non-negotiable rules of parenthood

2. List out the to-do-things and share responsibilities

3. Be the support of strength and understanding to each other during adverse situation even from family members – this is crucial for building each other’s confidence and avoiding any uncomfortable interference later on

4. Whoever coined this phrase – ignorance is bliss must be a very very intelligent human. Ignore trivial issues and move on…Helps to pass off any bitterness that might seep in

5. Ladies, your individuality cannot be only defined by motherhood, so invest time for your own self. Invest time and effort in making yourself a better and more intelligent individual.

It is vital to understand that no mother is a “bad mum”. Each has her own rules based on her vision on what qualities she wants her child to embrace. Just as how each child is unique, so is the child’s mother and her rules. Unfortunately, we all have been and will continue to be judged with microscopic lens … let this not bog you down ladies !!!! Sit back, hold on tightly to your principled perception of life and the bright future of your child and enjoy the bumpy ride.Am I A Bad Mum 03

 

 

 

 

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One thought on “Am I a Bad Mum?

  1. I love the encouragement and validation given in this article. I think all good mothers worry whether or not they’re getting it right. As the saying goes, if you wonder if you’re crazy, you’re not crazy 😝
    That being said, it’s not totally out of the blue that mothers fear being a bad mom. We have all heard or read about tragic stories of abuse, neglect, abandonment and so on, at the hands of mothers. Being willing to try and doing the best you can is what separates “good moms” from “bad moms.”

    Liked by 1 person

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