Grandparents – The magical stardust, the most lovable of all. Well, there is a saying that goes “you are a blessed soul if you get the love and warmth of your grandparents”. Of course, it is true I can personally relate to it so vividly and I consider myself to be quite lucky in that aspect. Oh! those were the golden days, which I yearn for and miss now terribly. I remember how my grandparents use to tell stories, give gifts, make yummy treats regularly, getting lose exchanges n buying candies, toys or other petty things with those, were true, some of the most beautiful childhood memories which I or any child can relish and relate to. Grandparents play an important role in the upbringing of the child. Having said that, does it also mean that they are absolutely neutral toward’s their grandchildren? Sometimes, my mother-in-law acts like she only has one grandchild, her grandson. And its not cool. Like every other human being even grandparents have their own favorites which get manifested in various ways. I have massive issues with that!
We Still live in a Patriarchal Society
Sometimes, this inclination towards one grandchild is based on the gender of the child. I am sorry and extremely saddened to say this, but no matter whatever we claim in terms of gender equality and broadmindedness, we still live in a patriarchal society wherein a boy child is favored more than a girl child. Not only this, it is even worse when we favor the grandchild depending upon the lineage whether he/she belongs to the maternal or paternal side.
The Child Starts taking their Parents for Granted
Why go so far, when we can find this kind of behaviorism issues in our close-knit friend circle, relatives and family. For example, my mother-in-law acts like she only has one grandchild – her grandson. Though I like the amount of warmth, care and love my son gets as a grandchild, but I think it gets too much overboard at times. It becomes difficult to discipline the child whenever there is too much indulgence. Giving in to the child’s demand, giving treats all year round just randomly, and most importantly overlooking the child’s mistake and sometimes even scolding the parents of the grandchild in front of them. Moreover, this overparenting and pampering spoils the child and eventually- the child starts taking their parents for granted, throw tantrums to get their things done in their own way, becomes self-centered, arrogant, less hardworking and less focused. Alas! these are the few things that give you bumps and are hard to tackle.
Favoritism from our Very Own Lovable Grandparents can leave a Very Deep Impact On a Child’s Psyche
Similarly, lack of affection, makes them feel unwanted, leads to low self-esteem, seclusion, angry, hurt and gives rise to various psychological behavioral problems. Well, the foundation of a person’s character is formed by his/ her childhood experiences. Favoritism from our very own lovable grandparents can leave a very deep impact on a child’s psyche and especially on those who are not so favorite and looked down upon. It is the cruelest and worst betrayal of love and trust which a child faces. So to all the grandparents who are judgemental and favor favoritism, cronyism or whichever “ism”, as a parent, in fact as a mother, it is my humble and earnest request to you – ‘Stop Being Mean’. There is no place for narcissistic, toxic and hurtful grandparents. Your negative treatment towards a child is striping the child of his/her innocence. A child’s mind is just like a blank sheet of paper the more you fill with vibrant positive thoughts, high self-esteem, beautiful and valuable moral values, love and care the better the child will be. Children are our future generation so let us try to bring them up in a kinder practical and rational manner.
by Suditsha Sanyal