by Usri Sen
How to deal with stress related to challenging parenting issues?If you’re a parent, you get plenty of suggestions on how to raise your child, one such being how to deal with an angry child
One of the most genuine parenting issues is to find ways to calm an angry and anxious child. Parenting perhaps is the most enriching and yet the most exhausting experience one could come across. Its function is dynamic with no set rule or pattern as every child is unique, even the identical twins. There are milestones that every child goes through at different stages just as how we adults experience, which shape up their behavioral patterns. Before moving to behavioral patterns, let us take a minute to understand speech milestones that play a significant role in developing a child’s communication abilities. The first 3 years of a child is the most crucial period when the brain is developing and is at its intensive period to absorb language and speech.
What Are These Speech Milestones?:
An infant instinctively cries out for food, that warm cuddle from the mother/primary caretaker for comfort, these are the most fundamental needs of an infant. Then the brain develops a little more exposing the child to process different sound, words, and sentences. They follow a natural progression for absorbing the music around them. Understand that the sound, seemingly gibberish to some and symphony to the rest, is the child’s way of asserting herself/himself.
Some of the children might choose to take aggression as the way of expression and that is pretty normal. It is a common syndrome between the age of 2-3 year old as that counts as one of the major speech milestones. Imagine this scenario, you are at work brainstorming on that important campaign or deal, you have filled up all the cracks in the plan with unfathomable finesse, you have thought through it a zillion times and convinced that it will be an instant sell-off. But, just when you thought your ideas are a thread away from being crowned, your client dismisses it owing to lack of effective communication. What do you feel at that point in time? A burning rage, isn’t it?
Now, imagine your child, she/he is at her/his energetic peak, there is so much that the child wants to communicate, in her/his mind …I feel so excited, if I knew the exact words…If only my parents understood what I actually need at this point of time…If only my parents left that weird instrument they hold so dearly in their hands and played with me, hugged me, cuddled me…If only and if only…Aggression is a sure shot way to let that steam out and to get the attention.
So How Do You Combat That?:
1. Time, time and time: The age-old mantra never fails, spend time…Spend time and spend as much time as possible to foster a healthy and calming behavioral pattern.
2. Understand your child’s actual need: Aggression is not the solution to calm the child. Give the child enough time to finish and then you sit her/him down, make stern but calm eye contact and get to understand the psyche, hug and communicate that you are there for your child always.
3. Be polite: Talk to your child politely out of the anxious state. Introduce emotions by asking if she / he was feeling sad, some pain, excited or plain undisciplined. A child may be genuinely craving for your attention and some may want to just exhibit undisciplined behavior, understand the difference. Be stern, not aggressive and have zero tolerance for indiscipline. A child is never too small to be disciplined, start from the very beginning.
4. Engage: Keep talking to your child to throw as many words and sound, they are like sponge at this stage with remarkable absorbing skill. Try and engage in a common activity that becomes a routine, like spending that 30 minutes on coloring, story-telling, playing, outdoor games etc …
5. Away from gadgets: Last and most important, keep your child as much away from technology as possible – TV, video games, mobile
Disclaimer: Remember, each child is unique and there is no cookie cutter formula that fits all, so go by your own instinct and help to keep the aggression down – both yours and the child’s.
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