In our Real Moms – Real Stories column, Meet Saakshi Kapoor, owner of Gurgaon’s popular kids’ salon. She believes that it is completely okay to be imperfect because this way you will be wired for struggle but worthy of love
I think it is pretty clear that I don’t think a perfect mom exists. Being real is so important and more so in today’s times. However; being real does not equate being obnoxious and entitled.
Saakshi, mom to two boys (age 3 and 5) is a co-founder of a unique venture called Barber Black Sheep. BBS is one of a kind kids salon that also caters to children’s play and recreation. Since the services they offer are highly personalized so it is imperative that one of us (my sister or I) are there to look after the place at all times.lives in a nuclear setup but blessed to have both sets of parents around her. Will a full-time and super-demanding profession, she is doing a fab job juggling job and family. She holds a masters degree in Psychology. With her keen interest in child psychology and as soon as she had her first baby, Saakshi came come realize that theories and books aside, a large part of raising a child is about following ones’ own instinct.
How does your day span out?
My day starts at 6:00 AM and between sending my boys off to school, cooking for the day and doing chores around the house, my morning is quite an organized chaos. I don’t have full-time help and most work is shared between my husband and myself. Once I finish the work at home, I am off to the gym which is when I feel a little bit relaxed (sounds ironical, I know). I then reach my workplace where my kids join me.
Days have to be planned in advance in terms of meal preps, logistics, and work-related tasks. I also need to plan their after school activities along. I set reminders on the phone. My mind never stops. With 7 days of the week working 24 hours a day and even on weekends, you can imagine my life. My husband pitches in to make sure the kids are okay. Our schedules are pretty insane.
What do you think about our Indian education system? If you were to introduce something or change something about it, what would that be?
The current education system is the one gifted to us eons back by the British and while I believe that certain traditional methods of learning still hold an important place in today’s times, a radical and systemic change is truly the need of the hour. Education now needs to be Integrated, Innovative and Inclusive. I also feel that developing an EQ is equally significant, if not more, to developing an IQ in today’s tumultuous times.
What would you say is your key to juggling and creating a balance with your work and kids?
Honestly, there is no such thing as balance. For a mother, equilibrium is a far fetched dream because of societal pressures. I also feel that women have a certain level of emotional adaptability in many spheres of life, however; we forget to really look after ourselves and give our own selves the kind of importance we give to our families and the sincerity with which we work.
How do you spend time with your kids on weekends? Share your best family moments.
Weekends are even more difficult than weekdays since I work hardest on these two days. Again, planning goes a long way. We start the day early and usually plan an outdoor activity. Our favorite thing to do as a family is to watch a movie in the theatre followed by a meal.
Do you manage to get some personal time for yourself? What do you like to do in this leisure time?
My one hour of work out is like Nirvana for me. I feel it is something I simply can’t do without. It keeps me sane and gives me the energy to keep up with my two very active boys. Other than that, as of know leisure is a luxury I cannot afford but I am enjoying this phase and am very grateful for it.
What tips would you like to give to new moms/moms with teenagers at home/ moms with pre-schoolers at home?
Do what you feel is right. If you’re going to give in to societal pressures, so are your kids. Be kind and be humble. Teach your kids everything you want to but also remember to learn and unlearn at the same time. Perfect parent is a myth and you know what’s a bigger myth, a perfect child!
What is your parenting style?
My parenting motto is simple; Go with your gut. I believe allowing your children to make mistakes is important and so is admitting yours. Parenting changes the way you are, the way you think, the way you function. All I can say is, go with the flow. No matter what kind of mom you are, as long as your kids know you love them and that they are responsible for the consequences their actions bring, you are good to go!
Any special parenting tips that have worked for you or those which were advised to you but didn’t work?
The one thing that has worked for me is really just listening and trusting your kids. They tantrum in front of you because they feel safe and secure with you. A tantrum or acting out is usually an outburst or a feeling they haven’t been able to express.
The only thing that is free is unsolicited advice however; luckily, I didn’t really take any advice that didn’t make sense to me.
If there was any one thing you could change about you at this point in life, what would that be?
Gratitude is something I practice and so even though life sucks sometimes, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
About Powerful stories from Real Moms. Real Stories: This section on The Champa Tree caters to stories of real moms. This is a platform for all mothers to share their stories and in turn inspire each other to take a step ahead in life. Parenting being the center of discussion in this section, everyday struggles can be dealt with by reading each other’s experiences with their little ones. If you would like your story to be read, and heard, write to us at firstname.lastname@example.org
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