by Udita Saklani
A single woman writes a letter to her future daughter about being passionate, self-love, that is, and know who you are even when life isn’t so easy
To my future daughter,
My little darling, there are still a few weeks to go before I see you, but I had thought I’d write a quick letter to you. As I talk to you every day during our daily chit chat morning sessions, I thought why not put some of my words into a letter. The world is a beautiful place and just like everything it comes with its own set of ups and downs. I am not scaring you, but just trying to say that when life gives you lemons, you shouldn’t say that they are bitter. Enjoy those lemons by making yourself a good ol‘ lemonade!
The world is out here to judge us women, my little daughter. But having said that you must be wondering that to be born in the 21st century- should leave no place for judgment. Right? My little darling as much as this country and this world has advanced there will still be a segment of society who will judge women for any reason whatsoever. What I want to say out of this conversation is that no matter to whatever extent you may be judged, just carry on with your own work. I promise you I will support you as long as it is correct and something good for you. People know our stories only from the exterior, they don’t know what goes inside, so go ahead and set an example!
No one is perfect my little doll. But everyone, almost everyone on this planet wants to be perfect. We all strive to be perfect one day, by working on our flaws and mistakes. God made us as human beings, and we aren’t perfect! Why should we be? There is so much fun in living with the imperfections sometimes.
There is no definition of beauty. For some dusky is beautiful, for others fair is. There are as many definitions of beauty as there are people in this world. Yes, you heard it right, because everyone is beautiful in their own unique way-right? There is beauty in a new born child and even in the wrinkles which appear on an old lady’s face. Why? Because to a new mom, her baby is the most beautiful thing, and to an old man, nothing but his wife can topple the new-found definitions of beauty.
I promise to you, that I will let you decide whatever you want to be. I wanted to be a journalist, but your grandparents wanted me to become an engineer and so I did. I would not say that I have any grudges or anything of that sorts because I am bringing food to the table all because of it. All I would like to say that had I been a journalist, I think I would have been a little happier! I will let you have your own choices. You can ask as many questions as you want. I will never ever say that you ‘can’t do so and so thing’. We can always try and like they say ‘Sky is the limit’. Be free in whatever you want to do. P.S I hope your grandparents aren’t reading this!
Loving yourself doesn’t mean that you are selfish. Often in taking care of others, we get so busy that we tend to forget ourselves. In the end, it all comes down to what about me, where am I? Let me give you a very basic example of this – ‘When I am making chapattis, and if I am tired on that particular day, I will make sure I make chapattis for the entire family, except me! It’s like everyone has it, I am happy with that only (Also I am so tired, that having two more chapattis to make for myself seems like an extended task). But that is not correct. Right? So, to avoid that kind of a scenario I would like you to take complete care of yourself.
Be passionate, love yourself, cook for yourself, pamper, eat, drink, go out, make friends! We have got this beautiful thing called ‘LIFE’, and you don’t want to waste that. Do you? And if at any time, you forget to do that, I will make sure to give you that extra push. I was never in the habit of taking care of myself, but with you inside me now, I have started to get things rolling. Parents are the best example for their kids, and I want to set a good one for you.
In the end, I would just like to sing this song to you:
Aa chal ke tujhe, main le ke chalun
ek aise gagan ke tale
jahan gam bhi na ho, aansoo bhi na ho
bas pyaar hi pyaar pale
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